I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
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Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
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I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
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