i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Randomize
