I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
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