Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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