One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Randomize
