Plan B is the new Plan A
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
