he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize