you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
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