If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
Randomize
