the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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