A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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