just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
Houston, we have a blender
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His new job just became new places to have sex at.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
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It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
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