i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
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