Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
I love having hate sex.
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we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
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I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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