what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
Be still, my beating vagina.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Randomize
