i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
