Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Randomize
