I forgot how hot balto sounded
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
