I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
He did a backflip because drugs
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
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