Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize