If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
are you so shy because you have an std?
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
Please don't give away my fajitas
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