I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
I just blew my weed a kiss
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
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