The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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