i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
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