it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
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