My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
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