there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
