I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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