I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
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