when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Randomize
