We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
