If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
I want you more than these girls want KFC
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
Randomize
