I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
