I can't breathe out the right side of my face
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
