i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
