what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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