He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
Randomize
