morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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