Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
Randomize
