So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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