I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
Randomize
