Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
Randomize
