Kareoke will never be a sober sport
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
Randomize
