Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
And then my night got REAL pukey
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
FUCK WHALES
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
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