She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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