it was like eating out sand paper
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
