Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Randomize
