I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
Sacagawea was the original milf.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
Holy sore nipples Batman
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
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