Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Randomize
