I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
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He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
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I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
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