Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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