their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
Randomize
