They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
