piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
Just made out with a pet sitter. His biz card says "even hamsters". Lowest point in my life.
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Randomize
