So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize
