How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
Randomize
