After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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