Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
