the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
When are your genitals available?
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Randomize
