and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
Randomize
