why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
Randomize
