it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
